171 -- [MISTLETOE | ACCIDENTAL AUDIO]

[illuminatings]

--oh Taiyounomaru, no. No, no, no--

Come on, babe, don't you want that amazingly good lookin' boyfriend of yours to caress your tender, but battle hardened flesh?

I-I--!

Imagine how good he'd be with his hands, or better yet his--

Do not finish that sentence!

Don't tell me you don't think of that~ I'm sure that he's pretty fluid like water in his movements!

TSUBASA! ASUKA!

Someone gettin' some?

You are so not helpful, Tsubasa!

Hey, you've gotten bigger since the last time we were here, huh?

That is not any of your information!

[ The bantering goes on for a few more seconds before there's a loud shriek of what appears to be the mistletoe in pain. And then a lot of muttering from Hoshi. ]

( OOC:

Normal is Hoshi.
Bold is mistletoe.
Underlined is Tsubasa. )

Comments

[pidonus.livejournal.com]

... All the things you wanted to say but couldn't...

[soul-on-light.livejournal.com]

I do not think of these things!

[pidonus.livejournal.com]

Dear, you're trying to lie to the girl with the power to read your desires.

Please tell me you don't seriously think that'll work.

[soul-on-light.livejournal.com]

My only desire is to protect my friends and family...!

[pidonus.livejournal.com]

And I'm Batman.

((TAKE OPENING Y/N?))

[soul-on-light.livejournal.com]

... Spiderman?

[ Your fictional comic book heroes are foreign to her. ]

[pidonus.livejournal.com]

... Dear, while you are a high-level shaman and warrior for justice and all that...

... You are also a seventeen-year-old human girl. And that means raging hormones. I should know, I can almost literally smell them.

You're trying to lie to someone who not only has studied the relevant developmental psychology and physiology, but literally has powers dedicated to sensing and manipulating people's sexual natures - something that runs deep enough in the brain for biological reasons as to be able to overwhelm pretty much all reason.

Unless you need me to pull out the photos from January as a reminder?

[soul-on-light.livejournal.com]

[ Most of that went right over her head, but what she did pick up on was-- ]

Hormones can get angry?

[pidonus.livejournal.com]

*Pidonus sighs.*

Not raging in that sense, Hoshi. I mean that at this age, the only human girls who don't have at least some sexual motivation are basically emotionless robots don't try that routine on me either or significantly hormonally imbalanced, and that lying about it may be less than entirely healthy.

And yes, this is humans I'm speaking of. One of the inherent advantages of being a Succubus is actually being able to be in control of such things more firmly.

[soul-on-light.livejournal.com]

[ I know what a robot is! I'm in a family with a group of 'em. ]

Well, uh... I just don't want it to become a distraction since there's plenty of things we still have yet to do...

[pidonus.livejournal.com]

That part is perfectly natural, normal, and healthy.

[Private]



... And, as an aside, your average chest size while awake and at your typical level of health has increased by about two inches, from a 28B to a 30B, since we met.

[soul-on-light.livejournal.com]

Yay?

[Private | Text]

...htl;sjhlk;jkoljwaklejhlkwajkl

Private

[pidonus.livejournal.com]

So cute when you're flustered~

*She's totally grinning.*

Private

[soul-on-light.livejournal.com]

That is not okay to say!

Re: Private

[pidonus.livejournal.com]

I'd never reveal your sizes to anyone else, don't worry about it!

Private

[soul-on-light.livejournal.com]

You didn't have to say it at all!

Re: Private

[pidonus.livejournal.com]

But it's too fun to mess with you~

You know I don't mean anything out of it anyways!

Private

[soul-on-light.livejournal.com]

Why does everyone mess around with me?

Suuuuuure.

Re: Private

[pidonus.livejournal.com]

It's fun, that's why!

*She TOTALLY ignores the second part.*

Private

[soul-on-light.livejournal.com]

Not fun for the victim!

Re: Private

[pidonus.livejournal.com]

Well, if you ever get the chance, you'll get to do it to me. Turnabout is fair play, right?

Private

[soul-on-light.livejournal.com]

Two wrongs don't necessarily make a right.

Re: Private

[pidonus.livejournal.com]

But light-hearted teasing isn't precisely a wrong by reasonable standards.

[badluckbabe.livejournal.com]

Give it up plants she's almost a eunuch.

And you're so much better? When was the last time you were touched?

Shut up and drink your tea.

[soul-on-light.livejournal.com]

Maybe we can get her to really let go!

Please do stop... This is really unnecessary, you know.

Will you indulge in carnal desires?

... ugh. I hate mistletoe.

[badluckbabe.livejournal.com]

Well...it's not like the idea is a bad one...I'm just not going to go out of my way to entertain them. You on the other hand have a perfectly good boyfriend.

Now she's on our side!

[soul-on-light.livejournal.com]

I do, it's just... ah, feelings are confusing. that, and well, I really don't think we're ready to do... you know.

Then stop making them confusing and do something about them!

Do you want to be blasted into smithereens?

... No.

Then shut up.

[xtrnlmonologue.livejournal.com]

If you're this easy to tweek, Agent Hikari-Kyoyama, then you still have much to learn. Psychological warfare is just as important to defend against as any assault I can throw at you!

You know, she's your subordinate, you could totally make a move on her.

You see? I've been hearing this all day!

And your balls are bluer than an Aligator's in Antarctica!

So cruel...

[soul-on-light.livejournal.com]

W-Well, um, in battle, I've learned to not pay attention to the enemy's jeers, but I--

I AM TAKEN, STUPID MISTLETOE.

Nothing wrong with doing it with him!

One moment, sir. [ There is the sound of rustling before a loud shriek of pain from the mistletoe. ]

...why would balls be blue, sir?

[xtrnlmonologue.livejournal.com]

And yet, they're getting to you here. The enemy you can see and engage is the least threatening.

...

And it's a figure of speeech.

It means he ain't getting any. Hey, honey, you wanna change that?

[soul-on-light.livejournal.com]

Well... hey. You've taught me valuable things, sir, so if you think I have more to learn, then I'm up for it!

Oh. Okay.

I'm going to have to politely decline, mistletoe.

[xtrnlmonologue.livejournal.com]

Have you read Sun Tzu, yet?

Come on, toots! You ain't getting any! He ain't getting any! And he's built like a tripod! Think of the fun you could have!

It seems that this is a test for me as well.

[soul-on-light.livejournal.com]

The ancient Chinese military general, strategist, and philosopher?

There's something called saving your virginity, mistletoe. So sorry.

We have to make her crack, bro.

[xtrnlmonologue.livejournal.com]

The Art of War is required reading for anyone who hopes to lead, or who plans to fight.

Invest in a copy. Know it. Love it.

I think the big guy'd do more than crack her, if you know what I mean.

[soul-on-light.livejournal.com]

Like a lord...

Do you have a copy of it in your office, sir?

Ohh, yeah. Just imagine him making her into a woma--

[ VIDEO ]

[ The look she's giving the mistletoe now is just one that speaks: "Run". ]

[xtrnlmonologue.livejournal.com]

Well worn and dog-eared, yes. As I said, it's required reading.

Nice death glare, by the way.

Oh man, you're gonna be mulch!

[soul-on-light.livejournal.com]

Might I be able to come by your office early tomorrow morning and pick it up?

Thank you, sir. I learned from the best.

Now, if you'll please excuse me--

[ She uproots the mistletoe before throwing it up into the air. She grabs her dagger and chops it up into pieces. ]

Anyone else wish to say that I should get laid, that I should give up my virginity, or otherwise be completely idiotic?

N-No, ma'am...

Good!

[xtrnlmonologue.livejournal.com]

You can borrow it for now.

We'll see how well it takes.

You know, according to some presidents, there's things you can do that won't give up your virginity...

[soul-on-light.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

Will there be tests?

--I do not want to know.

Back door sex!

Do you want to join your brother?

No...

Then shut up.

[xtrnlmonologue.livejournal.com]

Agent, I'd think you should know that by now you're ALWAYS being tested.

Oral, Hands, Paizuri...

Ugh... these things need to realize that we're one a public network...

HELLO! Mistletoe, here! We know this is public!

[soul-on-light.livejournal.com]

Oh, right, silly me.

Footjob if you're really into that stuff, not to mention there's always playing with toys.

And broadcasted for the villains to hear, too.

Yep!